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My submission to/ rip off of “Stuff White People Like”

Sweaters

By doobie keebler

 

Although practical and worn by members of many races, sweaters are especially enjoyed by white people. It’s not at all uncommon for them to have 20 or 30 sweaters per person, per household.

 

Sweaters can be easily obtained from many sources, and are abundant during many parts of the year, even during summer, when the purchase and wearing of sweaters is counter-intuitive. White people have developed special light weight sweaters for use in the summer months, and even have special use light weight sweaters to be worn during sporting activities such as tennis and golf.

 

Sweaters are often found in the shopping mall stores white people favor – the Gap, old navy, banana republic and eddie bauer are renowned purveyors of sweaterdry, but it doesn’t end there. White people do not confine their shopping to mere brick and mortar stores – they will seek sweaters, via the web, from far flung yet safe sources such as REI, LL Bean and Lands End. White people also enjoy purchasing vintage sweaters, thus scoring a two-fer.

 

Sweaters are a highly versatile part of the white person’s wardrobe. They can add color to an otherwise drab outfit, they add warmth, they convey status, and they can even be “lost” during dating situation, and later recovered in an effort to manufacture an excuse to call and/or visit the opposite sex during courting rituals. Additionally, sweaters have been the stand in for various needed items during their train trips across Europe and/or other continents. For example, many white people take great pride in telling stories about riding the train from Baumholder to Kaiserslautern –back when it was still WEST Germany – with nothing but a handful of deutschmarks and that old sweater vest from the army-navy store.

 

How can this help you: this can be easily exploited to your advantage by commenting “Hey man, nice sweater”. You will have ample opportunities to do this.